the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
