It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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