Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
