Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
she pinky promised me she was 18
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
