Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
3 2 1 whiskey
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
