well most of my day revolves around power hour
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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