we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
