how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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