Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
