His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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