Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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