Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
