oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
