He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
