i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
