Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
