your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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