Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
