Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
