I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
