just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Vodka?
Forever.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
