And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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