hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
