It's like God shit irony all over that family
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
