it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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