Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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