Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
