so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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