Slut skills are useful in every country.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
