I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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