at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I enjoy the company of your penis
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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