Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Randomize
