No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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