Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
