I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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