it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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