Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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