next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
