You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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