dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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