the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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