I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
