There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
