I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
