Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
