I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
