just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
