I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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