im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
