My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
